Antioch California Living

I started to realize that something important was about to happen. This was the first time in years that I had actually taken the time to do nothing but reflect on the things I was doing and the thoughts that I was thinking. It was all so strange and yet so intelligent. After all, how could I ever hope to improve myself and my life if I hadn’t even taken the time to figure out what I was supposed to improve?”

“Where do I start?” I asked.
“Start with what you did this morning and progress through your day. Just hit a few of the highlights, we still have a fair amount of ground to cover and I want to get back to Yogi Raman’s fable in a few minutes.”

“Fine. I woke up at six-thirty to the sound of my electric rooster,” I joked.
“Get serious and keep going,” Julian replied firmly.
“Okay. Then I showered and shaved, gobbled down a waffle and rushed off to work.”

“And what about your family?”
“They were all asleep. Anyway, once I got to the office, I noticed that my seven-thirty appointment had been waiting there since seven, and boy, was he furious!”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

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“Wow. Reading is really that important?”
“Thirty minutes a day will make a delightful difference in your life because you will quickly start to see the vast reserves of knowledge available for your use. Every answer to every problem you have ever faced is in print. If you want to be a better lawyer, father, friend or lover, there are books out there that will rocket you to those goals. All the mistakes you will ever make in your life have already been made by those that have walked before you. Do you really think that the challenges you are facing are unique to you?”

“I’ve never thought about it, Julian. But I see what you are saying, and I know you are right.”
“All the problems anyone has ever, and will ever face over the course of their lifetime have already been made,” Julian asserted.
“More importantly, the answers and solutions are all recorded on the pages of books. Read the right books. Learn how those who have preceded you have handled the challenges you are currently facing. Apply their strategies for success and you will be astonished by the improvements you will note in your life.”

“What exactly are ‘the right books?’” I asked, quickly realizing that Julian’s point was an excellent one.
“I’ll leave that to your good judgment my friend. Personally, since I have returned from the East, I spend the better part of my days reading biographies of the men and women I have come to admire and a great deal of the wisdom of literature.”

“Any titles you could recommend to an eager young beaver?”
I said, flashing a broad grin.
“Sure. You will thrive on the biography of the great American, Benjamin Franklin. I think you will also find much growth impetus from Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography entitled The Story of My Experiments with Truth. I also suggest that you read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse, the highly practical philosophy of Marcus Aurelius and some of the work of Seneca. You might even read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I read it last week and thought it was very profound.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

Dear Greg,
I went on a trip with my boyfriend of six months to California. We had a great time. When we got home, he went to visit his family in Boston. When I called him to check in, his mother told me that he had gone to visit his friend in Florida. I never heard from him again. It’s devastating.
I believe the only way I can honor my feelings and the relationship is to talk to him and find out what happened. What’s wrong with that? Liza

Dear You Picked a Lemon,
Do you deserve to know what happened? Yes. But fortunately for you, I can tell you what happened. You were dating the worst person in the world. What could he possibly say that will make a big happy lightbulb go on over your head and make you exclaim, “Ohhh, that’s why my boyfriend left me without a word and went to Florida and vanished into thin air”? Nothing he could possibly say will be satisfying to you. But what will be satisfying is if you don’t spend another moment of your energy on him. You picked a lemon. Throw it away. Lemonade is overrated. P.S.: If I ever go to Florida, I’ll kick his ass.

Sometimes a person’s behavior is so abhorrent that it leaves little doubt as to what to do. The big mistake you made was choosing that person to begin with. The quickest way to rectify that mistake is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future. And quick, before any more of your precious time is wasted.

Taken From: He’s Just Not That Into You

Dear Greg,
He’sJustNotThatIntoYou
I never thought I’d be in this situation. I know you’re not supposed to date married men, but here I am. I met him at a conference out of town, but ended up seeing him for work reasons in the city I live in. We fell in love and one thing led to another. We see each other whenever he’s in town, which is often. It would be easy to think all the bad things I should think about this situation, except for the fact that he is a kind, good man. He has never done anything like this before. And he never says anything bad about his wife. We are deeply in love. I’m thirty-six years old and I have never in my life felt anything this powerful before. He says the same thing, too. He talks about leaving his wife, but he has two young children, and this would be devastating to them. He is tortured by it all. I feel awful, and yet I also believe I deserve to feel this kind of love. And if it feels so huge, it must be real and meant to be. This isn’t the typical dating-a-married-guy story, Greg. This is me. And it feels completely different. Belinda

Dear Other Woman,
Hey, smart girl. Good for you to know you deserve to feel a powerful and profound love. I just think you should have it with someone who’s actually yours. There’s plenty of guys out there. Why not get one of your own? Sure, okay, sometimes people fall out of love, marry the wrong person, are overcome with passion, or make bad choices, all of which can result in an affair. Here’s how you and Ring Finger Fred can handle this situation now: Stop seeing each other; let him figure out his life. If he ends up staying with his wife, then you would have been that girl who was having an affair with the guy who was never planning on leaving his wife. If he does leave his wife, then you can start a life with him not based in shame.

This is no joke, and I’m not even going to try to be glib (even if I was a little in the letter above). You want love and you want to be loved and you think you’ve finally found it. But he’s married. Please try not to ignore that fact. He’s married to someone else. I know you’re different, and it’s different, but the fact is, he’s still married. If there’s only one red flag you are unable to ignore in your entire life, please make it this one. There’s simply too much at stake for everyone involved.

Taken From: He’s Just Not That Into You

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Dear Greg,
I have a boyfriend who keeps breaking up with me. He also keeps calling me and begging me to get back together with him, each time telling me that he misses me so much and has made a terrible mistake. He’s done this three times now, every six months. I hate it, but I keep taking him back because I love him. I keep telling myself that he must be really into me, if he keeps coming back—right? Christina

Dear Yo-Yo Champion,
Funny how you notice how many times your dude comes crawling back to you, while I notice how many times he’s told you that he doesn’t ever want to see you ever again. For both of us the number is three, but I’ll put money down that the breakup count isn’t over yet. Because sadly this is what that guy is doing during your relationship recess: He’s
sniffing around for something better, and when he doesn’t find it, he gets lonely and comes “home.” It’s not that he’s so into you. It’s that he’s so not into being alone. Don’t give him the chance to break up with you for the fourth time. (God, even the idea of it sounds beneath you, doesn’t it?) Reset your breakup maximum to one and move on.

Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company. If aliens haven’t recently abducted your beloved and switched his brain for the brain of a guy who’s really into you, please consider the option that the bum maybe just got a little lonely.

Taken From: He’s Just Not That Into You

“And come up with a clear plan so that it doesn’t happen again?” I added.
“Precisely. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes.
Mistakes are part of life and essential for growth. It’s like that saying, ‘Happiness comes through good judgment, good judgment
comes through experience, and experience comes through bad judgment.’ But there is something very wrong with making the same mistakes over and over again, day in and day out. This shows a complete lack of self-awareness, the very quality that separates humans from animals.”

“I’ve never heard that one before.”
“Well it’s true. Only a human being can step out of himself and analyze what he is doing right and what he is doing wrong. A dog cannot do this. A bird cannot do this. Even a monkey cannot do it.
But you can. This is what the Ritual of Personal Reflection is all about. Figure out what is right and what is wrong in your days and
in your life. Then set about making immediate improvements.”

“Lots to think about, Julian. Lots to think about,” I offered
reflectively.
“How about thinking about the Sixth Ritual for Radiant Living: the Ritual of Early Awakening.”

“Uh-oh. I think I know what’s coming.”
“One of the best pieces of advice I learned in that far-off oasis of Sivana was to rise with the sun and to start the day off well. Most of us sleep far more than we need to. The average person can get by on six hours — and remain perfectly healthy and alert. Sleep is really nothing more than a habit and like any other habit, you can train yourself to achieve the result you want; sleeping less in this case.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

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