Antioch California Living

“Aside from yourself!” I exclaimed sincerely. “Just listening to you makes me feel great. You really have changed, Julian, and notjust on the outside. Gone is your old cynicism. Gone is your former negativity. Gone is your old aggressiveness. You really do seem to be at peace with yourself. You have touched me tonight.”

“Hey, there’s more!” shouted Julian with his fist in the air.
“Let’s keep going.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Okay. The eighth ritual is the Ritual of the Spoken Word. The sages had a series of mantras which they would recite morning, noon and night. They told me that this practice was immensely effective in keeping them focused, strong and happy.”

“What’s a mantra?” I asked.
“A mantra is nothing more than a collection of words strung together to create a positive effect. In Sanskrit, ‘man’ means ‘mind’ and ‘tra’ means ‘freeing.’ So a mantra is a phrase which is designed to free the mind. And, believe me, John, mantras accomplish this objective in a very powerful way.”

“Are you using mantras in your daily routine?” “I sure am. They are my faithful companions wherever I go.

Whether I am on the bus, walking to the library or watching the world go by in a park, I am constantly affirming all that is good in my world through mantras.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

“What do you do to start your day off on a positive footing?” “Actually, I have developed quite a sophisticated morning routine which includes everything from the Heart of the Rose to drinking a couple of glasses of freshly squeezed fruit juice. But there is one strategy in particular which I would like to share with you.”

“Sounds important.”
“It is. Shortly after you have awakened, go into your sanctuary of silence. Get still and focused. Then ask yourself this question: ‘What would I do today if today was my last?’ The key is to really get into the meaning of this question. Mentally list all the things you would do, the people you would call and the moments you would savor. Envision yourself doing these things with great energy. Visualize how you would treat your family and your friends. Even picture how you would treat total strangers if today was your last day on the planet. As I told you earlier, when you live every day as if it was your last, your life will take on a magical quality.

“And this brings me to the seventh of the Rituals of Radiant Living: the Ritual of Music.”

“I think I’m going to love this one,” I replied.
“I’m sure you will. The sages loved their music. It gave them the same spiritual boost as the sun did. Music made them laugh, it made them dance and it made them sing. It will do the same for you. Never forget the power of music. Spend a little time with it every day, even if it is listening to a soft piece on a cassette while you drive to work. When you feel down or weary, play some music. It is one of the finest motivators I know of.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

“Julian, I am trying very hard to keep my cup empty — and I think you will agree that I’ve done pretty well for a novice. But that really sounds odd, even for a band of monks living high in the Himalayas.”

“But it is not. Take a guess how many times the average fouryear- old laughs in a day.”

“Who knows?”
“I do, three hundred. Now guess how many times the average adult in our society laughs in the course of a day.”

“Fifty?” I tried.
“Try fifteen,” Julian said, smiling in satisfaction. “You see my point? Laughing is medicine for the soul. Even if you don’t feel like it, look in the mirror and laugh for a couple of minutes. You can’t help but feel fantastic. William James said, ‘We don’t laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh.’ So start your day on a delightful footing. Laugh, play and give thanks for all you have. Every day will be an exquisitely rewarding one.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

“It makes sense. The better the sleep, the less I will need.” “Exactly. And remember the Ancient Rule of Twenty-one: if you do anything for twenty-one days in a row, it will be installed as a habit. So stay with the early-rising routine for about three weeks before you give up because it feels too uncomfortable. By then it will be a part of your life. Within short order you will be able to rise
at 5:30 a.m. or even at 5:00 a.m. with ease, ready to savor the splendor of another great day.”

“Okay, so let’s say that I am getting up every day at five-thirty. What do I do?”

“Your questions show that you are thinking, my friend. I
appreciate this. Once you are up, there are many things you can do. The fundamental principle to keep in mind is the importance of starting your day off well. As I’ve suggested, the thoughts you think and the actions you take in the first ten minutes after you wake up have a very marked effect on the rest of your day.”

“Seriously?”
“Absolutely. Think positive thoughts. Give a prayer of thanks for all you have. Work on your gratitude list. Listen to some great music. Watch the sun come up, or perhaps go for a quick walk in natural surroundings if you feel up to it. The sages would actually make themselves laugh whether they felt like it or not, just to get the ‘happiness juices’ flowing early in the morning.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

“Let me ask you, John. What do you do before you go to sleep every night?”

“I watch the news with Jenny, the same as most people I know.” “I kind of thought so,” replied Julian, with a mysterious twinkle in his eyes.

“I don’t get it. What could possibly be wrong with getting a
little shot of the news before I go to sleep?”

“The ten-minute period before you sleep and the ten-minute period after you wake up are profoundly influential on your subconscious mind. Only the most inspiring and serene thoughts should be programmed into your mind at those times.”

“You make the mind sound like a computer.”
“That’s a pretty fair way to look at it — what you put in is what you get out. Even more important is the fact that you alone are the programmer. By determining the thoughts that go in, you also are determining precisely what will come out. So, before you go to sleep, don’t watch the news or argue with anyone or even go over the day’s events in your mind’s eye. Relax. Drink a cup of herbal tea, if you like. Listen to some soft classical music and prepare yourself to drift off into a rich, renewing slumber.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

“Do you sunbathe?” I asked.
“Absolutely. The sun rejuvenates me. When I grow tired it
keeps my mood bright. In the ancient culture of the East, the sun was thought to be a connection to the soul. People worshipped it as it allowed their crops to flourish along with their spirits. Sunlight will release your vitality and restore your emotional and physical vibrancy. It is a delightful physician, when visited in moderation of course. Alas, I digress. The point is to get up early, every day.”

“Hmm. How do I build this ritual into my routine?”
“Here are a couple of quick tips. First, never forget that it is the quality and not the quantity of sleep that is important. It is better to have six hours of uninterrupted deep sleep than even ten hours of disturbed sleep. The whole idea is to provide your body with rest so that its natural processes can repair and restore your physical dimension to its natural state of health, a state that is diminished through the stresses and struggles of daily use. Many of the habits of the sages are based on the principle that one must strive for quality rest rather than quantity sleep. For example, “Yogi Raman would never eat after 8:00 p.m. He said that the digestive activity it induced would reduce the quality of his sleep. Another example was the sages’ habit of meditating to the soft sounds of their harp immediately before heading off to sleep.”

“What was the reason behind this?”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

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“But if I get up too early, I really do feel exhausted,” I said. “For the first few days, you will feel very tired. I’ll freely admit this. You might even feel this way for the first week of getting up nice and early. Please see this as a small measure of short-term pain for a large measure of long-term gain. You will always feel a little discomfort when you are installing a new habit. It’s sort of like breaking in a new pair of shoes — at first it’s a little hard to wear them but soon they fit like a glove. As I told you earlier, pain is often the precursor to personal growth. Don’t dread it Instead, embrace it.”

“Okay, I like the idea of training myself to get up earlier. First, let me ask you what does ‘early’ mean?”

“Another fine question. There is no ideal time. Just like
everything else I have shared with you so far, do what is right for you. Remember Yogi Raman’s admonishment: ‘nothing to extremes, everything in moderation.’”

“Getting up with the sun sounds extreme.”
“Actually it isn’t. There are few things more natural than risingwith the glory of the first rays of a new day. The sages believed that sunshine was a gift from Heaven and while they were careful not to overexpose themselves, they regularly had sunbaths and often could be seen dancing playfully in the early morning sunshine. I firmly believe that this was another key to their extraordinary longevity.”

Taken From:THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

But I do think he’s right—a lot of the time—which is the most annoying part of it all. Greg is the olderbrother we all should have in our lives (and in our heads). He demands that men treat us better than even we think they should. We have been conditioned to expect so little, told not to be demanding, not to seem needy. But what would happen if all the women in the world listened to Greg—if we all started insisting that men keep true to their word, treat us with respect, shower us with the appropriate amount of love and affection? I think there would be an awful lot of better-behaved men in the world. That’s all I’m saying.

And in terms of Greg’s outlook on the world, well, I can give you incredibly valid arguments, backed up with statistics, flow charts, and diagrams, for why my pessimism is the more realistic outlook to have. But will it make me any happier? That’s where I’m at now, at forty-one and still single. What are the points of view and attitudes that are going to make me a happier person? I’m already smart enough. I need a constant dose of happy now.

If you are reading this book, chances are you are someone who has spent too much time with men who have given you too little—meaning, you could use a little Greg voice in your head. What woman, really, couldn’t use a man in her ear, reminding her that she’s smart and valuable and worthy and gorgeous and deserving of everything she ever wanted? Not a one. The world out there feeds us a lot of messages telling us otherwise. I think Greg’s yelling at us so loud in the hope that he can drown out some of that other noise.

I hope this book was helpful to you. I hope it made you a laugh a little, in recognition. And I hope you find fantastic, healthy, life-changing love, just the way you had imagined it.

With perhaps a few surprises thrown in just for fun. —Liz

About the Authors
Comedian Greg Behrendt was a consultant for three consecutive seasons on Sex and the City. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, Comedy Central Presents…, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Show with David Letterman, and Late Night with Conan O’Brien. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter.

Liz Tuccillo was an executive story editor of HBO’s Emmy-winning Sex and the City and has also written for Off Broadway. She is currently living and dating in New York City.

Taken From: He’s Just Not That Into You